Hartford Business Journal

www.HartfordBusiness.com • April 16, 2018 • Hartford Business Journal 21 EXPERTS CORNER What makes exceptional leaders different? By Stephen C. Wakeen I recently attended Hartford Business Journal's 90 Ideas In 90 Minutes event at the Hartford Club. Eight executives espoused their theories on leadership, including to be nice. One might think that being nice is antithetical to the image of the hard- driving CEO who sacrifices his or her personal life for the success of the com- pany. But this is inaccurate. They work hard, no doubt. But successful CEOs put their humanity first to get results. Let's examine some of the ideas these executives shared to see how they use their humanity in their work. Patrick Dempsey, CEO of Barnes Group Inc., was the No. 1 iron worker in all of Europe. Now he runs an American company with more than $1 bil- lion in revenue. He says we should be passionate about any activity because it leads to doing greater things. Our passion can change. He encouraged us to be lifelong learners and be willing to reinvent ourselves. Joe Gianni, Hartford Market President for Bank of America, said to refrain from constantly focusing on your long-term goal. Otherwise, unrealized expecta- tions will continually disappoint you. Immerse yourself in your work. You'll be happier, do your best work and reach your goal. Gianni also encouraged us to smile. It makes others smile. Then he smiled. The audience smiled back. Bonnie Malley, vice president of finance and administration for the Hartford Foundation for Public Giving, encouraged women to find their voice. Malley is inspired by Eckhart Tolle and his book, "The Power of Now." She said, "It's about character. It's about being humble and kind." Michael Cantor of Cantor Colburn LLP said be nice to everybody. Rohan Freeman, president and CEO of Freeman Companies and 7 Summits, en- couraged us to elevate our expectations. Freeman climbed the seven highest sum- mits in the world. He suggests that we "embrace the risk we are about to take." Research by Robert Schruaf found that 50 percent of our thoughts are negative. Imagine Freeman crossing a crevasse on Kilimanjaro and thinking, "I can't do this." This happens to CEOs. But they find a way. They expunge negative self-talk. For Curtis Robinson, CEO of C&R De- velopment Co., the key to success is disci- pline. Discipline is about determination, staying on course regardless of the odds and people telling us no. Jeffrey Flaks, president of Hartford Healthcare, calls it belief. He also said, "If you don't change anything, you shouldn't expect anything to change." That speaks for itself. Finally, Felix Rappaport, president and CEO of Foxwoods Resort Casino, says that leaders need to serve as cata- lysts to help bring ideas to fruition. Here are six things we can conclude from the panel: 1. While leaders must hold their people accountable, highly evolved leaders are accountable to their employees as well. 2. Earl Nightingale, the celebrated motivational speaker, coined the phrase, "We become what we think about." We can be an iron- worker one day and a CEO later if we remain open to possibility. 3. CEOs know they have inherent power and that their negativity can be toxic. Those who recognize how to use power positively get better results. 4. To embrace risk, minimize negative self-talk. Or use it as a motivator. 5. Determination grows from belief, and creates focus, which leads to stronger self-discipline. 6. Great leaders enable teams to score the touchdowns. It's how they win the Super Bowl. In the book "Mastering Leadership," research by authors Robert Anderson and William Adams shows that 75 percent of leaders are highly control- ling and protective. Twenty-percent emphasize building relationships, encouraging new ideas, fostering teamwork and authenticity. The 20 percent are statistically more effective than the 75 percent. Most successful leaders recognize that showing their humanity has far- reaching positive effects. Or as Warren Bennis said, "The process of becoming a great leader is the same as that of becoming a great person." Stephen C. Wakeen is the founder of Connecticut-based Playbook Coaching LLC, which provides executive coaching services. BIZ BOOKS How small talk can lead to better business outcomes By Jim Pawlak "The Serious Business of Small Talk — Becoming Fluent, Comfortable and Charming" by Carol A. Fleming (Berrett-Koehler Publishers, $16.95). Small talk (n.) Ice-breaker con- versations that connect people on a personal level. Common interests allow "I" to become "us." Us creates relationships. In the workplace, us can always outproduce I. Example: You're at the negotiating table. You know nothing about those across the table. If you use small talk as a "social lubricant" to identify mutual interests, there's a greater likelihood the negotia- tions will go smoothly. Given the benefits of small talk, why is it so difficult for many people to engage in it? From an early age, we're told, "Don't talk to strangers." As adults, that social-anxiety phrase lingers in our subconscious when we are with strangers. There's no effort to make contact. When they approach, there's a reluctance to engage with them. How do you break your own ice? Recognize that your stranger-danger has become a comfort-zone habit, which can be changed. The way to change it: See others as potential new relationships that can lead to new experiences and alli- ances. When meet- ing new people, think "Ah, there you are. I wonder what I may be able to learn about you and from you." Being curi- ous shifts your mindset from po- tentially uncom- fortable to being interested. Example: At a seminar on "green" issues, I opened 10 conversations with: "What environmental issues most interest you?" The opener showed I was interested in what they had to say. Lively conversations developed; others joined in. I became "we." I stay in touch with four (i.e. the most interesting) of the 10. Being curious also involves doing your homework. I read up on the "green" issues on the seminar's agenda. I knew enough to be interesting to those I engaged. The bottom line: Everyone you meet presents a learning opportunity. "The Essentials of Theory U — Core Principles and Applications" by C. Otto Scharmer (Berrett-Koehler Publishers, $21.95). Theory U involves excavating the surface rather than scratching it to: 1. increase awareness of what lies beneath, and 2. reshape what's underneath to uncover opportunities. Analogy: Think of a large corn field. Over the growing season, the corn goes from seed to tall stalks with ears of corn. We don't see the farmer's homework and hard work that prepared the field to optimize yield. What's underneath our outcome- producing actions? A social field whose production requires cultivating "rela- tionships among individuals, groups and systems that give rise to patterns of thinking, conversing and organizing." As we grow into adulthood, our base of experience, knowledge and contacts grows; we evolve and change the social field as we pursue careers, marry, have children, deal with life-altering events, embrace technology, etc. Theory U identifies four social-field stages of awareness that modify indi- vidual and group approaches to cultiva- tion: 1. "Habitual" — Bases the future upon the past. Action stems from self- imposed boundaries. 2. "Ego-system" — Examines what is in terms of what could be. External information expands boundaries. 3. "Empathetic-Relational" — The effect on stakeholders brings new relationships and perspectives into the evaluative process. Boundaries are pushed. 4. "Gener- ative Eco-system" — Boundaries come down; alter- natives abound. "A new space of co-creative aware- ness opens up" as input from others fuels process- and solution-development. To optimize results, ensure you're not locked into Habitual; "cultivate your curiosity and pay attention to everything that deviates from your expectations." Record observations for reference and use them as "jam session" talking points to develop conversations with stakeholders. As those conversa- tions deepen, ideas collectively emerge. Key Takeaway: To be effective in the workplace, Theory U requires that the heavy lifting in the social fields be done by those directly affected, not outsourced to consultants. Stephen C. Wakeen Jim Pawlak Book Review

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