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W W W. M A I N E B I Z . B I Z 21 F E B R UA R Y 5 , 2 0 1 8 W e're reading every day about harassment in the workplace and #metoo. You may be wondering how to apply that to your company and workplace. at often translates to questions about whether it's appropriate to to hug co-workers, clients, employees and or professional acquaintances. It's no wonder many of us are dust- ing off our handshaking skills. If you're not thinking about these things at all, then I suggest you begin to initiate a discussion in your work- place so you have an understanding of what is acceptable in your corpo- rate culture. I polled my friends on Facebook for advice to share with you here. Bring back the handshake — but use it wisely When I was younger, I thought that an extra-firm handshake was the sign of a confident woman. My late dad, who was in sales, warned me about a weak hand- shake. Worse, he said, are the "fold-over" handshakes that some women use or even two-handed shake. Yet there are limits to the firm handshake. In my 20s, I shook an older woman's hand so firmly she squealed in pain. Now I am that woman. I have shaken hands with some overzealous businesspeople who have caused me long-lasting pain. I have some arthritis in my hands and it hurts if someone shakes my hand too hard. If you are in that boat, I suggest you extend your left hand while saying that your right hand is injured and you would pre- fer to shake gently with your left. e handshake may be making a comeback, but the rule with handshakes is to be firm enough, not bone-crushing. Gauge the strength and desire of the other person to be more or less firm. Most importantly, while shaking the hand, also look at the person in the eye while smiling and saying, "it's nice to meet you," or "it's nice to see you again." e key is to be warm and sincere in your greeting. When I queried my Facebook friends on this topic, one of them said to use the same pressure you use on a doorknob to open it. To hug or not to hug Now, on to the issue of business eti- quette in the day and age of Harvey Weinstein. Men need to be careful not to send the wrong signals or to show any kind of affection if it is unwelcomed. My counsel is to err on the conser- vative side. Men should extend a hand warmly, and if the other person wants to hug, that's fine. If you do not want to hug, keep your hand extended, smiling all the time. at will send a signal that all you want is a handshake and no more physical contact. One of my wise Facebook friends who likes to hug said she asks outright if the other would like a hug or not. is gives others the opportunity to express their preference or to opt out of a hug if they prefer not to be so close. If you are going to initiate a hug, allow some space. My niece Rachel from California says that each party's hips need to be far apart and another friend from school says it should be a quick hug, not lingering. At work, it's best to save the hug for a retirement or farewell party. e key to all of this is to develop the "emotional intelligence" to know what is acceptable in any relationship and in any setting. If you are unsure, stick with the handshake and save the hugs for your family at home. Men must show more caution than women in this day and age. But women like me who are effusive and expressive must also tune in to what the other person would prefer in any given situation. Nancy Marshall, known as The PR Maven, owns Nancy Marshall Communications. She can be reached at nMarshall @ M a r s h a l l p r . c o M Handle handshakes and hugs in the workplace B Y B Y N A N C Y M A R S H A L L H OW TO The University of Maine System is an EEO/AA Employer. For full detail and to apply go to: maine.hiretouch.com and search keyword: Chief Executive Officer UMS offers competitive compensation and a strong benefits program. The position will be based in Portland, Maine. CHIEF EXECUTIVE OFFICER OF MAINE CENTER VENTURES The University of Maine System (UMS) seeks an innovative, entrepreneurial and collaborative leader to become the founding Chief Executive Office of Maine Center Ventures (MCV). The purpose of MCV is to build the Maine Center brand of active engagement and effective partnership with the business, non-profit, government, and professional communities. The Maine Center for Graduate and Professional Studies (the Maine Center) is a priority UMS initiative to increase graduate and professional opportunities for students and advance economic and work force development in Maine. It will comprise a consortium of graduate and professional programs working with one another and with the private and public sectors. MCV is a tax exempt organization through which funding for programs of the Maine Center may flow from external sources. For information call Susan M. Gallant at (207) 415-0084 versity Immersion Let's build the road forward by walking it. Current methods not delivering the results you want ? Economic ecosystems thrive when everybody belongs. There's not a roadmap on how you change entrenched cultures and systems. But there is a path and a direction. We develop leaders to be more effective change agents in this complex and uncertain environment. Learn how to accelerate and sustain change within your organization. Register today for the March Diversity Immersion multiday program. March dates, Portland, Maine: 7, 8, 9 + 15, 16 + 28, 29 www.diversity-i.com The handshake may be making a comeback, but the rule with handshakes is to be firm enough, not bone-crushing.

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