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V O L . X X X N O. X V § 2 J U LY 8 , 2 0 2 4 10 W hen parents have teen- agers, "the talk" usually refers to the "birds and the bees" conversation, but as chil- dren age into adults there is another equally hard conversation that needs to be had — estate planning. W hether parents wanting to inform their family or children try- ing initiate conversations about the future, talking about estate planning can be hard because it brings up mor- tality and very tough realities. Determining where your assets go, end-of-life care, and even who has guardianship of minor children are all reasons why plans should be made in advance, according to Zach- ary Smolkin, chief trust officer at Port- land-based Spinnaker Trust. "It is one of the most difficult and almost awkward conversations that people have with their children, or even children raising it to their par- ents," Smolkin says. "As a child, you don't want to make it look like all you care about is their money." Parents may have their own rea- sons for avoiding the conversation. "ere are several reasons why par- ents are concerned about having that conversation," Smolkin says. "It can be that they're very private and don't want their kids to know what their finances look like. Or, on the other hand, they could be afraid that an inheritance would make their kids lose their drive to get good jobs or go to school." 4 tips for estate planning conversations 1. Be general When first approaching an estate planning conversation, you can be very general. Broaching the topic and starting the conversation is an impor- tant first step. e detailed elements can come further down the line as the planning progresses. You might start the conversation with, "I have some assets that I am dividing between the family, I would like my son to be my health care proxy and my daughter to be the personal representative." Something just to get the ball rolling is helpful so that people can be open with one another. 2. Explain your logic "In the process of having these con- versations, I think it's really important to give the reasoning behind what it is that they're doing," Smolkin says. 'The talk' Bringing up estate planning with your family B y S l o a n e M . P e r r o n It is one of the most difficult and almost awkward conversations that people have with their children, or even children raising it to their parents. — Zachary Smolkin Spinnaker Trust P H O T O / C O U R T E S Y S P I N N A K E R T R U S T Zachary Smolkin, chief trust officer at Spinnaker Trust.