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A nn Marie Kane had the misfortune of losing her job right around the time she found out her mother no longer had the mental acuity to take care of herself. Kane's 85-year-old mother, Pauline, was diagnosed with vascular dementia, caused by reduced blood flow to the brain, at the height of the COVID-19 pandemic in 2020. "All I did for six months was look for a place big enough for us to live together," Kane says. " To say it was chaotic would be a huge understatement." Kane's mother, who now attends the Southern Maine Agency on Aging's Sam L. Cohen Center adult day program in Biddeford, is among more than 6 million Americans age 65 and older, including tens of thousands of Mainers, experiencing Alzheimer's disease or another form of dementia. Experts say repeating the same story or question, difficulty with everyday tasks, difficulty joining or maintaining a conversation, getting lost, personality changes, confusion about time and place, or troubling behavior such as neglecting groom- ing or poor judgement in handling money can all be warning signs of the onset of dementia. It is important to note that the more intelligent a person is, the eas- ier it will be for them to mask symp- toms. Changes in personality and behavior are important signals that a loved one is struggling with brain function. Identifying a memory-related ill- ness is just one step in the journey to provide care and comfort. Kane says her mom's symptoms started small, with a tendency to drag her right toe while walking. It took several years for the signs of dementia to become more obvious. " When you're with somebody all the time, it can be challenging to notice gradual changes in their behavior," Kane says. Talk to others Unless you have daily contact with an aging family member, it is possi- ble that others are in a better position to look for warning signs. And that's OK. Do not rule out the possibility that a coworker, friend or neighbor might be more attuned to abnor- mal changes in behavior and cog- nitive function. If you are concerned, seek medi- cal help. As with any disease, early detection is important in developing a treatment plan and finding ways to improve quality of life. Activity matters Suffering from dementia can often lead a person to withdraw from activities that have previously been important. Social isolation can lead to depression, which causes addi- tional challenges in care. Engaging in physical and mental activities, combined with healthy eat- ing, can lower the risks of dementia and can keep your loved one, if suf- fering from dementia, engaged and stave off isolation and depression. Communication is key When caring for someone who has Alzheimer's disease or another form of dementia, you must pay attention to how you communicate. Avoid multitasking. Keep distrac- tion to a minimum when commu- nicating with someone who is bat- tling dementia. Put away your phone. Turn off the TV or radio and make sure you are fully dialed into the conversation. Keep it simple. Processing com- munication can be difficult for some- one coping with dementia-related ill- ness. Speak slowly and understand that repetition, while frustrating to you, can be beneficial to the other person. Ask "yes" or "no" questions. Don't argue. What your loved one is saying might be incorrect. It might be hurtful. But that person often does not understand and cannot control what they are saying. Correcting or arguing is not helpful. Tone matters. Anger and irrita- tion will still register, even if a per- son doesn't recognize you and has trouble processing what you are say- ing. Stay patient. VO L . X X I X N O. X X I ยง 2 SEPTEMBER 18, 2023 6 SeniorSmart A common problem with vexing challenges Understanding dementia takes patience, self-care, communication B y J . C r a i g A n d e r s o n S T O C K I L L U S T R AT I O N / M A R Y L O N G